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House Party COVID Style: Satire about opening schools this fall

I originally posted this "essay" as a Twitter thread on June 30, 2020. It went a tad viral on Twitter and was also shared over 20k times on Facebook that I know of. (And yes, it is really meta that a thread related to COVID went viral. Pun absolutely intended.)

Lots of folks have asked for an even easier to share version. And I wanted to fix a few typos, while extending a few points. So here is the second draft of this satirical experiment.


House Party COVID Style
For the people advocating we open schools five days a week ‘as normal’ please immediately host a gathering in your home, for 36 children, for six hours. What? That’s too long? Okay let’s make this easier, one hour. Put on a movie give them some snacks and let them hang out because after all, kids need to socialize.

Note, I'm not asking you to teach anything here. Just have the kids over. Keep them entertained any way you want. All that is necessary for this thought experiment anyway, is having 36 kids in your …

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